a golden bird that needs to dance


this post is a hundred percent full of selfishness view of mine -- you are allowed to disagree, comment, add and/or say anything -- indeed the purely reasons is, in hopes if someone ever read it (i said 'if' though) and/or acts upon it, i shall get some barakah (ameeen).yes i am fasting so i can't lie.heeeee

okeh.so proceed.

i was at teraweeh prayer in the mosque with ummi -- yes.as the next semester will start around 2 weeks after aidilfitri, so i got to fulfill the whole ramadhan this year at home.yaaay! -- where i learned the most distract-full generation of human population which are : KIDS. 
okeh.dont get me wrong.i dont hate kids.i am the eldest of 6 siblings.half of my life (at least at my age now) i live with kids, up till now.i know kids.i once was a kid.i am okay with kids.but not okay with kids that yelling, shouting and/or playing throwing shoes at women praying area and/or acting polis-tangkap-pencuri along every space they can find among the saff.kids dont come by themselves to the mosque.i mean, heck, where are the mothers?annoyed and frustrated, i blurted out to ummi;

"kalau mak2 ne rasa depa x dpt control anak2 depa, awatla bwk jugak mai masjid eh?"

ummi senyum aja.given a little moments, one makcik in front of us bangun dan bergerak ke belakang saff, and i heard she told the other makcik beside her;

"saya ada anak kecik kt blakang.satgi kacau pulak."

oooooooouh.and at that moment also, ummi and i had a psychic-mute-conversation confirming that she heard my complaints.haha.but i dont see her removing place made any difference.her child keeps circling her while we prayed, bouncing in front of her, and yes beside us also.still kacau jugak.

(ouh please excuse my language.it keeps changing and i just cudnt keep tracks of it.haha)
i might be neither observer or participant.idk but am still trying to figure it out.i might be madly observant and worse-est participant.or other way around.i cud be the-most-menonong-person in entire world and didnt have a clue about anything but sometimes i say things that people never know also.i know im being dramatic, but whatever.i guess my point is, when you have mother like my ummi, anda akan menjadi peka melihat baju kurung biru berbunga merah dipadankan dgn tudung coklat, atau melihat mereka memakai kain batik dgn corak utama bunga dan daun yg dipakai terbalik, you'll get eye-sore seeing people with their unpinned shawl as if it'll smacking and sweeping your face every time you passed, and i dont care about your wardrobe be it so 90's or yesterdays, but your tudung should be clean and ironed.ill just go crazy when i see an unironed tudung, or worse bahagian lipatan dalam tudung tiga segi yg terkeluar-keluar dan senget-benget.please excuse my rudeness but if you are the daughter of my mother, you'll be magically noticing this kind of things. 

sebelum kita makin lari dari tajuk asal, my observant things here focus on the mother and child.the child copy the mother.yes we do.so please tell the child what is the right to do and the wrong thing not to do.or at least show them.yes right now i am just one of a child.i know i will never ever understood the situation of a mother.but i understand my part of a child.i remember it clearly bilamasa ayah ketuk kaki kami adik-beradik.i was 7 back then but i realized bahawa ianya adalah salah untuk bermain polis sentri di hadapan org yg sedang solat.aku dimarah ummi suatu masa membuatkn ak sedar untuk tidak menyampuk perbualan org2 dewasa walaupun untuk menunjukkan lukisan yg anda bwat di tadika sekalipun mendapat 5 bintang dr cikgu seni anda.kami diajar meminta izin bukak tv walaupun pagi sabtu adalah pagi menonton kartun.kanak-kanak yg ditunjuk bahawa perbuatan itu salah akan tahu.mereka tidak akan berguling-guling d lantai supermarket krna x dpt mainan yg diminta jika mereka diajar tidak semua benda boleh kita dpt.

apan : kaklong roti blueberry tu mahal x?
aku : x lah.singgit dua kupang aje.nak ke?
apan : naaaak!boleh tak?

ouh cerita td belum habis.the makcik turn to her other daughter and says;

"hang x pyh solat lah.tgk adik neh.jgn dok bg dia kacau orang."

agaknya si kakak sedikit bengang disuruh berhenti solat untuk menjaga adiknya.so at the middle of some teraweeh rakaat, i heard her slapping her little sister.(hahaha.sori.i guess i lost my khusyuk-ness that night to be an observer)and then that little child cried loudly.it took some times.yes before she sit silently behind her sister for the rest of teraweeh rakaat's left.before she realize her sister was mad that she does not behave.

it is very unbearable for me to accepts that; 
"alaaaah.budak2 ne memang mcm ne.x boleh nak bwat apa dah aih."
"anak saya ne memang bebai sikit.lagi x bg apa yg dia nak dok merajuk situ lah."
lembut anda bukanlah sampai tidak menegur.sayang anda bukan sekadar membiarkan.you are indeed every pillow that offers comfort.

they are magnificent.
deep down, they really are the golden birds.
that need to dance.
we could join with our hands, wings, hoofs, or fins.
present an applause for their brilliant hearts.
on your feet.or on your chair.

and if ever they split way on the dance floor.
a simple NO could do.
so beyond all that is rational, in this dear world.
make them understand,
that everything in existence,
does point to God.

Happy Ramadhan to all. =]

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